Memories Lost: Memories Created

Boo

2007-08-27T08:51:00.000+10:00

My blog sent me a message confirming my email so I pretty much figured out it was missing me. What a sad state of affairs.

The world hasn't ended Kamberra is still here and I have more blogs then you can poke a stick at.

I have a masquerade ball to go to which will be VERY exciting. You never know what will happen to cinderella. Now where can I find some glass slippers?

I am still here

2007-02-02T12:03:00.000+11:00

Isn't always interesting when you discover that people you used to know don't know you anymore.

And I knew Friday was going to start something bad. Now all I am doing is waiting for everything to fall apart.

Of course the worst thing is that in a professional circle if someone breaks the cone of silence what can be done to correct the problem and how can one punish the person involved?????

Life is alright if you discount the problems associated with flatmates.

It has been a while

2006-08-24T15:30:00.000+10:00

I thought I would just update the world on my ramblings...

What I know
I mean I know many things ( or at least I think I do.):1. I tend to lose things. In fact I have lost my new bracelet, and my favourite rings. Somewhere at work. Defintely worth grrr arghhing about.2. I think too much. Or maybe not enough? None of its out loud though. Try having an interior monologue that won't shut up when you want. 3. The stupid moods I get in if I pay too much attention to the stupid monologue inside my head. It is at this point I want to flail my arms wildly and hit myself over the head. That would distract it for a while now wouldn't it? Maybe I need help? Does anyone have a monologue distractor or remover? Or perhaps I could just figure out what starts it off?That I don't think I will ever know really. I feel really sorry for anyone who is around me when I make even less sense then usual. (hint hint)

Mais qu'est-ce que c'est que je voudrais. C'est evident, je pense. Life the universe and everything? Non ce n'est pas ça. Je pense de ça ce matin. Á ce matin je veux grosses bisses, sourires et le possibilité le possibilité er des plaisantes, des blagues et des autres choses heureuex.I dare someone to even be able to understand any of that. :P

Ok enough of that All I have to do is figure out what I am doing this weekend. I know I am: buying a fabulous new dress, something else, and going out for dinner. I know the when, the who but not the where. decisions decisions.

I feel slightly less weird. But not in a cathartic way

A poetical Thought

2006-08-09T18:53:00.000+10:00

I got to visit my thinking spot and do some real thinking today. What came of that is: ( please dont laugh)

What is it about?
This life, this change that change?
My life for yours.
His lies
for her lies
Complete lies
Incomplete lives.
Calm is danger
Chaos is calm.
My lost is your found,
One ending is a beginning

Where do the lost go?
I have found my own loss.
I see it!I feel it!I dont want it!
I set it freeI no longer hold it captive.
I smile,
I breathe
I laugh
I wait anew
The first poetical thing I have written in almost a year. It feels great.

House Warming

2006-05-15T13:15:00.000+10:00

Well my house has been warmed.
I have had my quarterly binge, and I really enjoyed it.It was a great night, I fell over a little, spilt a drink, drank an entire bottle of fortified wine, yes I am sorry I did drink some malibu.

My friends from Newcastle came up to see me. For which I am thankful. It was SOOO good to see them. Besides which now I look like I do actually have friends. I wish I could have seen you all but that would have been expecting just a little much. But just you watch I will move you down here one by one so watch out.

I want you to all be prepared for August. By then I should be able to have a binge and a half. Im coming up for a week so be prepared!

I had forgotten how much fun I can have when I dont have to take care of anyone else. So all is getting to be at peace in the world.

Godfather Cat

2006-04-28T14:42:00.000+10:00

Knees

2006-04-26T09:52:00.000+10:00

Well. I hate knees. Here I was dancing, flirting having fun. What does my knee do? Dislocates itself. So imagine the looks on peoples faces. It went out then back in again. Was painful. BUT now I have a sore knee that is threatening to do whatever it is that knees do after being dislocated. Of course it means pain. NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. Now all I need is someone to tell me what I am supposed to do with my knee. I gave it a days rest yesterday. Completely.
I spent all day in my pjs.
So what am I supposed to do to make it feel better?
Am I supposed to strap it? Not walk on it? It has been a while since I did anything like this to my knees. I blame netball. So someone needs to tell me what to do.
YES!

Well she's here

2006-04-13T08:52:00.000+10:00

She had a long trip down but she has finally arrived and she seems to be settling in well. So two thirds of my little family have come down, I am just awaiting Mij who will be arriving after Easter.

Ollie wandered around the house for a while maiowing but she was all right. She is currently spending her first day alone but with Shakira. Her new friend. Shakira is unimpressed as you can imagine but I am sure she will be ok.

So now I have work, then holidays. Someone has already given me Easter eggs. I have no idea what to do. Eat or not to eat them that is the question. However I will be having at least one hot cross bun tomorrow. YUMMY!!!! OOh I had better buy some margarine.

So now comes the rest of the list.
Have driving lessons
Find a car
Buy Car
Get P's
YAY.

I am so looking forward to spending a four day weekend mooching, organising and unpacking. Let's hope the day doesn't drag.

So people get in your transporters and come and visit me. YES!

I am HOUSE

2006-04-07T16:29:00.000+10:00

Yes
We have a house
We have organisation
Removalists
I think I have forgotten exactly how much furniture I have.
But Bearing that in mind I am so looking forward to spending my first freezing night there this evening. YAY
I only have a few other things to organise.
But pretty soon I will have a landline yeeess!!
Oh and can anyone guess what my first meal in my new house will be? Other then breakfast
My first dinner will be drrruuuummm rolle PIZZA. I haven't chosen between vegetarian and pepperoni ( I really shouldn't eat pepperoni) but I am hanging out for it. Definitely.

So anyone that wants to come and visit feel free. Visitors are fun.
Oh but if you are strong and good looking I just might put you to work
Hee hee.

A new Beginning

2006-04-02T09:08:00.000+10:00

Your True Love Is an Aquarius
Why you'll love an Aquarius:
Independent yet devoted, you'll appreciate the unique approach to love Aquarius takes.You both see love as a bit of a game, and Aquarius will challenge you until you're completely hooked.
Why an Aquarius will love you:
You're secure enough to give Aquarius tons of space - even if it means separate interests and friends.You have the brains to keep Aquarius engaged and curious. And the passion to change the world together!

Now who'd have thunk that my perfect match is myself? Personally all the stuff I have read has always indicated Sagitarrians. OH and told me to stay away from Leos. Maybe I should have listened eh?

Now all I need is to meet some aquarians given that all the people I know ( except Nathan) are Capricorns, Leos or Taureans, with a couple of Pisces and Arians.

Oh and I am finally completely free of my past. The final break came yesterday. Unbelievably my mobile is in my name 6 MONTHS!! later. BUT I have the same phone number YAY. Now I am going to get a new phone ( no engagement phone for me). There is no point being to see the past every time you make a phone call.
*A new phone
*A new life
*A new smile

I miss my cat, my bird and I WANT A HOUSE. We are getting close though. YAY. Oh and the we is two other people I have found to house hunt with. They are really very interesting nice people. They are new people and that's a step in the right direction.

I heard some sad news yesterday. What is the water in Newcastle? Geez most people down here are getting together (if they can find someone that is, and that is pretty difficult, of course I do need to actually socialise. Being an introvert can be a problem then).I wonder if anyone can give me lessons on how to be an introverted extrovert without being completely insane. I think I need some help. I used to be a social butterfly- But I seem to have returned to the chrsalys stage.
But it appears everyone up there is splitting up?? What are you all drinking??????

So if anyone actually reads this. I am doing fine, having a great time, learning and exploring. The leaves are starting to change colour the air is colder,Perfect flirting weather. I love no I adore winter.

J'aime le monde. Je regarde un nouveau monde sans mon enfers, avec une sourire, J'avais decide de rechercher moi-meme.

Watch out world

Here I am Happy and listless and catless and birdless

2006-02-11T20:22:00.000+11:00

Hey Peoples

Ok here is the low down

I am sitting here in CANBERRA a fully employed personage who has made the migration and feels pretty good about it.

It feels good to leave all the silences and narkiness behind. You know you can never go home.. Thats what it is going to be like but hopefully my friends will still know me when I go back to visit from time to time.. FINGERS CROSSED..

Now all I need is a house and I will be set. And to bring down my cat and my bird.. My happy little family.

Well what a schmozzle

2005-10-24T23:36:00.000+10:00

Well what a schmozzle. The world has fallen and down and now it is trying to right itself again.
Of course there is always someone waiting to push it off kilter again.
Basically everyone hates everyone and there is either constant bickering or constant silence. I am not sure which is better. However I am sure that given the decisions that people have made/ are making that the world is never going to be the same again.

In a group of friends there is always a moral line that should never be crossed. We have all just discovered what happens when someone crosses that line. Basically friendships go to hell and noone speaks to each other. Not unless they are forced to. It also means that people become so self obsessed that they all lose the ability to look at the big picture and all behave like teenage girls in highschool. Never a pretty sight to begin with.

I however have a view for the future. My "Grand Design". It involves a job a house and Canberra beyond that I have no idea. Of course I am fairly sure that everyone is so self obsessed that they won't even notice when I am gone. Maybe I'll send them a postcard and remind them...
I am fairly certain that if I was to stay here not only would I go completely crazy or have some sort of break down I would remain in the company of people, who like Peter Pan, refuse to grow up. I have made my choice and I choose the right to grow up. It is better to grow then to stagnate in a pond of hate. Which is pretty much where everyone else seems to be sitting.

Been a long time between posts because I have been away, working, depressed, broken up with and just completely lost. Hopefully If I can prove that I can write on my blog a certain someone who has disappeard into the great land of Japan can do the same.... You know who you are.
Maaaiou.

2005-04-23T12:50:00.000+10:00

Gizmo

2005-04-23T12:45:00.000+10:00

Olwen

Its been a While, Yes

2005-04-23T12:24:00.000+10:00

Well it has been quite a while between posts. I have been wandering trying to get anyone possible to employ me. But as we all know adults with arts degrees are not the most in demand. So I am wandering around doing somethin called JST just in case I did not know how to look for a job. So it is all really quite fun.

I have two kittens called Olwen and Gizmo They are about 4.5 months old and VERY cute.
So I get do get to entertain myself with them. But hopefully a job will come soon. Being unemployed is NOT INTERESTING! Just so you know the kittens came about because a couple of riends of mine's cat had kittens. Completely unexpected but what was really great is that everyone wanted to have one. There were three kittens and the all got homes. It really could have been a lot worse.

But I could not have asked for anything better.

DARWIN!!

2004-12-04T01:22:00.000+11:00

Well I have made it to Darwin and I am having a marvellous time. Lots to do and not much time to do it in.
I seem to have brought the good weather up here with me (at least for a while) and hopefully it will stay a bit longer.
Oh and the big news is I seem to have passed all my courses and I should be graduating in the new year.
Cheers and Ciao

A long time between posts

2004-11-19T15:54:00.000+11:00

Well it has been a long time between posts. Mostly because I have been rushed off my feet organising my life. Not that all is going to plan. I am about to embark on a voyage to Darwin. Me the cold lover. So that should be interesting. 7 days and then I am going to be permanently hot for a month.
I am hoping that my job situation will work itself out over the next few days. You never know there could be a job just for me out there waiting.
I always believe that optimism is the key.
Now as I have the key all I need is the key hole.

FINISHED, almost

2004-11-08T14:30:00.000+11:00

Well life is moving along smoothly. I have just finished my last ever university essay. ( hopefully) My brain feels like it is about to collapse, but other then that everything is dandy.

Now it is a time for jobs jobs jobs. If I can find a job before I mysteriously disaapear to the Northern tips I will be one happy wondercat. Not only will I be able to exist but I will be able to enjoy muself whilst I am up there.

Only one downer. I have to wait til the 13 of December till I will know if I am graduating. So me, I am crossing my fingers and toes, and my bird Mij is crossing all of his feathers and claws.

You never know the next time you see me you might see a graduat!!

The countdown continues

2004-10-28T14:57:00.000+10:00

The countdown to the end of my university career continues with all essays done bar 2. Nervousness has set in and I am not looking forward to writing these essays. BUT I have figured out I need 9 marks out of 30 and 2 marks out of 30 to gain a pass in two subjects so things are looking hopeful. I have 4000 words until the end. It feels so close yet I am so far.

I have had an interesting time applying for jobs. I had some editorial help ( that is I wrote and they edited) for my applications. Hopefully this will help me get through the first round of applications. FINGERS CROSSED.

I found an ex citing way of earning money, writing poetry for cards. Should very interesting. They pay about 100 dollars for each successful poem published. I am really hoping that I can write something worthwhile. You never know Some day out there you might be reading a "sorry I can't be here" card and I will have written that. I'll defeat Hallmark one day. Just you watch!!

Html fiddling

2004-10-20T14:14:00.000+10:00

Well I am quite proud of myself I figured out how to place an image on my blog. I did some html fiddling ( yes it is surprising that an arts student knows HTML) So I have placed my scary inner cat on my blog forever, as a sort of watcher, a feline godfather perhaps?
I have been chasing down a graduate position with no success. BUT I am still hopeful. Bureaucracy at work is fun to watch but not to be a part of. Hopefully I will find out eventually that I have been rejected.
20 days till my days of freedom. Freedom is getting closer as are the all important assignments. Fingers crossed I pass them all.

The hecticity of la vie

2004-10-19T09:35:00.000+10:00

Life is a hectic place at the moment. It doesn't matter whether I am writing essays or swinging madly from the ceiling, life just can't get any more stressful. Today begins the countdown to the end of my university career. In just 22 days I will have finished my final 5 assignments and hopefully embark on a meaningful career somewhere. 22 days. When you think about it, it isn't that long. 3 weeks and 1 day until I am a free agent. The only problem now is fear, and butterflies. What is the age old saying? The only thing we have to fear is fear itself? I'd like to add a few things to that: fear, butterflies and graduation.

I was a cat in a previous life

2004-10-17T15:11:00.000+10:00

I was definitely a cat in a previous life. As a lot of people like to put pictures of themselves up on their blogs I thought I'd put a picture of the true inner me.

First Post

2004-10-16T06:27:00.000+10:00

Well what an exciting day this is. I have been wondering about blogs for quite a while and now I have one of my very own. Welcome to the world of clairabelle dedicated to memories we find lose and never see again. Here's a poem just for the occasion.

Memories Lost

The wind blows the dust off past lives,
like an old woman beginning her spring cleaning:
Thoughts, ideas and memories;
each are savoured and forgotten.

Thoughts of a prior generation
shining through the dust,
a burst of sunlight
in the darkened depths of the earth.

Ideas are sown into the woodwork,
chiselled into eternity,
slowly forgotten,
covered by the grey of solitude.

Memories walk down lanes,
twisting, turning, becoming one,
clouding over, written to remember;
the wind blows the dust off past lives.

Claire Frances Saunders